We here at the ordinary news desk have heard that there are new wormy developments. (Read previous stories.) Our intrepid reporter caught up with Worm Woman to bring the latest news to our faithful readers.

ordinary (mostly): Worm Woman, what’s the latest news on the worms?

Worm Woman: The worms are no longer in our basement. They moved out to our compost pile. I don’t think they were very happy confined in their plastic tub of damp newspapers. Now they are free range worms.

o(m): Had something changed? I thought that their home had always been a plastic tub of damp newspapers.

WW: I thought maybe with the warmer weather they would reproduce and pick up the pace with their compost production, but they didn’t. They were only taking a tiny fraction of our overall compost production anyway.

o(m): Do you have any sense of what was wrong? In the middle of last year, they seemed to be thriving.

WW: Maybe I wasn’t checking on them often enough? Also, they probably would have liked me to buy them some official bedding, rather than using our old newspapers.

o(m): So – now they’re “free range” worms. Do you believe that children, like worms, should be “free range”?

WW: Your children are ranging freely even as we speak.

o(m): Thank you, Worm Woman. We trust that you will find new direction and meaning in your life, even in the absence of worms.

There you have it, folks. The worms are gone. Loyal readers may remember that it was, in fact, the worms that got this blog started – way back in April of last year. We hope that you won’t find this loss to be too traumatic.