Posts filed under ‘Work’
Transition doings and happenings
Our lives are full of transition things right now, and some of it is getting fairly stressful. But here are some of the more enjoyable happenings…
A few years ago when we moved a couch into our basement, it took our entire small group to get it through the doorway (with the door frame removed). This time around, Ordinary Spouse and I didn’t have too much patience and we simply forced it out. On the way, however, Lexi tried to convince us to leave it where it was…
She scooted right up to the top and wouldn’t budge…
Maybe we’ll have to create a new climbing toy in Pennsylvania.
In other news, we’ve had an outbreak of beauty at our bird feeder – a scarlet tanager and an indigo bunting. I’ve been at work both times, but Ordinary Spouse and the girls have been spotted them. I’m especially glad that Middle Daughter (our bird expert) was there to see them.
The pictures are a bit blurry, but still quite stunning. It’s funny that we’ve never had either of these birds before this year, and now they both arrive within two weeks of our move.
And this past weekend, we were out to Laurelville for their Spring Gathering. This is a trip that we had planned a long time ago – we’ve regularly attended these weekends in the spring and fall for many years now. However, since we were there, we had the chance to see our new home and to finalize some of the details of my employment. Here’s our home…
And here’s the view from the porch outside our bedroom…
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- from “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” by Robert Frost
This far, by grace
As my family prepares for our move to Laurelville, it has been interesting to think about how we got to this place. At first, it seems like a pretty drastic move: X-ray science to Christian camping. The education and work of the last eighteen years of my life would suggest that I have had the perfect job. And at the important times when I’ve had a choice between science and ministry, and I’ve been pretty consistent in choosing science. So what happened this time?
I decided I wanted to take a closer look – to “raise my Ebenezer”, if you will. I want to give thanks for what has come before in order to live fully into the future.
(If you don’t care to read this autobiography, just skip it. I’ll summarize below.)
1990 - I was a junior in high school. Out of nowhere I received a phone call from the youth minister of Allegheny Mennonite Conference to talk about my position in the conference youth cabinet. Unfortunately, there had been a mix-up. I didn’t know I was part of the youth cabinet. Nobody had said anything to me. And it was supposed to be a two-year term, but I was leaving for college in little more than a year. Nevertheless, after clearing up all of these confusions, I ended up serving for a year on the cabinet. This mistake in communication changed everything for me…
1991 - The conference youth minister was also the director of summer youth programs at Laurelville. She encouraged me to consider being a counselor for the summer camps after I graduated from high school. Not much encouragement was needed – I had been a camper at Laurelville for eight or nine years and was glad to join the summer staff. And I met Ordinary Spouse that summer.
1992 – After my first year of college at Goshen, I really wanted to return to Laurelville for a second summer. But my advisor had encouraged me to apply for a summer program for science majors. (I was studying physics.) So I decided to use a “fleece” like Gideon: I applied for the program and committed to being a part of it if accepted. Well… I was accepted, and so I spent the summer as a scientist, rather than a counselor. This choice (science over ministry) seemed to become a recurring theme.
1993 - I spent the winter semester studying in Costa Rica. Part of the time I lived with a Mennonite pastor and his family – people who became very dear to me. My host mother told me that one day I’d be a pastor, and I took that pretty seriously. In fact, the whole semester was so disorienting (in a good way!) that I decided to take a year off in order to think about the future of my academic studies: Should I continue in science or adjust my focus?
1993-94 - I spent the school year away from school doing voluntary service at Laurelville. Most of the year was spent in the dining hall, where notions of Christian hospitality were being formed. The summer was another chance to be a counselor. At the end of the summer, Ordinary Spouse and I were engaged. I often describe this as the best year of my life; certainly the combination of this year and the semester spent in Costa Rica were profoundly influential. And when I returned to school in the fall, I continued in science – in fact, I added chemistry as a second major.
1994-96 - I finished my undergraduate studies. During the summers, I was an undergraduate researcher in Ann Arbor, where (soon-to-be) Ordinary Spouse had begun her graduate studies. I had also received a number of invitations to explore seminary studies during those summer breaks – supposedly my name was suggested by one of my professors. Those invitations went unanswered.
1996 - Ordinary Spouse and I were married at the end of the summer, and I began graduate school in chemistry immediately after we returned from our honeymoon.
1996-2002 - Graduate school. I think every grad student encounters a time when they want to quit. Four or five years in, I was starting to think about quitting going to seminary. Thankfully, Ordinary Spouse had enough wisdom to suggest that maybe my low point wasn’t the best time to change directions. She suggested perseverance in my graduate work and re-evaluation at a better time.
2002-04 - Immediately after finishing grad school, I started a two-year post-doctoral appointment at the National Synchrotron Light Source. In many ways, the work was very similar to the work that I did in graduate school, and it was the perfect training ground for my current job. This was not a time of re-evaluation.
2004 – 2012 - I knew that I couldn’t stay in the post-doctoral position indefinitely, so I was actively searching for a long-term position… in science. I was pleased to be hired to work for GM/CA-CAT – the position that I’ve held until now.
2012 - Seemingly out of the blue, I applied for a position at Laurelville that came to my attention on the day before the beginning of Lent — a position that pays one-third of my current salary; a position that I may be completely over-qualified for; a position that represents a complete break with the science that I’ve done for the last 18 years; indeed a position that is incredibly similar to the one I held during my year of VS at Laurelville. And by the end of Lent, I had accepted the position, our family had sold our house, and we were getting ready to move.
Ok – you’ve either slogged through that biographical stuff, or you’ve come here for the summary. I’ll put it like this:
My new job at Laurelville will be quite similar to much of what I did when I worked there 18 years ago. So what was the point of leaving? What good was all this science? To put it bluntly: Was this all a waste of time?
You know what? The person who is going to Laurelville now is not the same person that was there 18 years ago…
- Eight additional years of school means that I don’t think of anything the way that I did then.
- I am a whole lot more comfortable with doubt. Challenges to my faith don’t cause me anxiety.
- Four different congregations have given me a chance to explore gifts and calling. In some ways, I think it must have been something like a seminary-of-the-world.
- I’ve blogged quite a bit about hospitality. This thinking has been refined, especially in the last few years, and it motivates this move.
- I’m married. Ordinary Spouse is anything but ordinary. It has been a joy to watch how life and faith have developed for us during this time.
- I’ve now had a taste of the American Dream. I’ve found it to be lacking.
As I’m typing these things, a couple of things occur to me. For one, each of these changes deserves a blog post of its own. For another, I realize that I have no sense of wasted time – only thanksgiving and a curiosity for what comes next.
Anyway, that’s all for this blog post. It’s a bit messy, but I’ve been writing it for a few weeks now, so I’ll let it go and work on something else.
Like this:
Need a job?
Do you know someone with experience as a synchrotron beamline scientist? Or if you know me, have you wondered what it is that I do at work? Here’s the job that I’m leaving behind in a month and a half when I leave for Laurelville…
(Click on image for an expanded view.)
Anyone interested can find out more on the Argonne website.
Like this:
Back to the blog!
Nearly one month ago, I blogged about the job offer that I had just accepted. And after that dramatic announcement, the blog went nearly silent. A post about the weather. And an apology. And then nothing for over two weeks. But today when I left work, I took a long, deep breath and felt like the current chapter in this story had nearly come to an end.
Three months ago, I scheduled my busy time at work for this past week. The “busy time” includes the days when I often work late, and occasionally even work around the clock. I failed to realize that it was also the week between Palm Sunday and Easter – precisely my busy time for church, as well. And of course, I hadn’t foreseen that I would be in the middle of a career change and trying to sell a house and prepare for a move from Illinois to Pennsylvania. So in the last fifteen days, I have…
- Been at work fourteen days, including one 48-hour on-call period;
- Been worship leader for three different services;
- Been song leader at two other services;
- Worked to get our house on the market last Wednesday.
Because I was at work, I didn’t have to herd the girls in and out of the house for nine different house showings. Ordinary Spouse did that (and everything else needed to keep our home going and presentable). She’s amazing.
But when I left work today, the craziness of the last two weeks was in the past. My work responsibilities are nearly complete. The Good Friday and Easter services were very meaningful, I think. And the most astounding thing to me: after three days on the market, we have had a very generous offer for our home that we’ll accept tomorrow. In this housing environment, I never expected anything like that.
And so tonight, I’m filled with a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness. Amen.
I believe… when I close my eyes to sleep at night, it’s good to say, ‘Amen.’
An apology for the poor blog output
I’d really like to be blogging on everything related to our upcoming move to Laurelville, but with work, church, and preparation for the move, I don’t actually have time to think or write much of anything.
On a different topic, the weather in the Midwest has been crazy warm for this time of year. If you’re into weather, you might enjoy reading Dr. Jeff Masters’ Wunderblog for today.
That’s all. Sorry.
Like this:
What am I thinking?!?!
I believe that I’ve just entered a midlife crisis, but Ordinary Spouse says that’s ok, as long as I’m honest about it.
Say what?
Read on…
My occasional readers will know that faith is a constant struggle for me. Over on my ‘About‘ page, I say this…
I’m trying to be a disciple of Jesus. Really trying. But I’m not always successful, and I have a hard time reconciling my suburban middle-class life with my faith.
And roughly two years ago, I wrote this…
On a typical work day, I begin my morning in my house in suburbia, safely isolated from the world’s pains. At the appropriate time, my garage door goes up, I pull out in my car, close the door remotely, and drive to work. Once at work, I show my ID to a guard at the guardhouse, and drive through the gate and into a fenced-off research campus. I carry out this process in reverse when it is time to go home, and I tuck myself safely into the garage once more. Everything is clean and sterile. Not once do I have to deal with anyone else’s reality. For all I know, the whole world is middle class.
To be honest, I don’t know how to live with this.
I have often described my struggle by saying that my faith and work don’t really communicate with one another. It’s not that they’re in opposition to one another. They just don’t connect. I like my work. I’m doing precisely what I’ve been trained to do. But I’m not passionate about it.
So what am I passionate about?
Hospitality.
For a while, I’ve found that focusing on hospitality has served as a guide to me. It doesn’t necessarily tell me where I’m going, but it does serve as a standard by which I can discern my way. And what is hospitality? As I’ve come to define it…
Hospitality is opening up a safe space for each of us to be authentically ourselves, and in that space to encounter God.
But what does that have to do with a midlife crisis…?
Sometime in the past year during one of our family’s trips to Laurelville, I told Ordinary Spouse that I’d probably enjoy working as their host. (The host welcomes guests and is generally on-call to help with any needs that arise.) “If that job ever opens up, I’d like to apply for it.”
Well – it opened up sooner than I expected. About four weeks ago, I saw it posted on Laurelville’s website. And even though I was fairly certain that there were too many obstacles in the way, I sent in my application.
Evidently, Laurelville was as interested in the possibilities as I was, and after three weeks of discussions I accepted a job offer last Friday.
I’m giving up well-paying job doing exactly what I was trained to do. I may or may not be over-qualified for what I’ll do now. But it’s a rather drastic break with the past and an entirely new direction in life.
This makes no sense to lots of people – especially the ones that I work with. Sometimes, it doesn’t even make sense to me.
I’m writing this just before I publish this blog post. As I was proof-reading things, I realized that parts of this post might sound pretty bleak. And that is precisely what I’m not feeling right now. In fact, I’m feeling energized by just about everything (with the possible exception of trying to sell our house).
And yet, the last four weeks just leaves me shaking my head and trying to catch my breath. I hope to do some more reflecting on all of this in the coming days, but this post is already too long and our family has already started to vigorously prepare for the move. I’ll be working at Argonne through the end of May and will be working at Laurelville by mid-June.
Since the beginning of my blog, my angst regarding middle-class life in the suburbs has been a recurring theme. I wonder what happens now.
Like this:
Late nights
One day ago at this time, I was beginning one of my unpleasant late-night experiences at the synchrotron. I worked way past my bedtime, left at 3 a.m. this morning, and didn’t get much sleep. It could be worse, I suppose. I occasionally have to work all-nighters.
One year and one day ago at this time, I was also beginning an unpleasant late-night experience… in the emergency room. I was up way past my bedtime, finally got admitted into a hospital room after midnight, and didn’t get much sleep. That also could have been worse. I’m thankful that it wasn’t.
Suddenly, late nights at work aren’t quite as bad.
The newest synchrotron user
Hey, look who showed up inside my building today!
I think that it was overwhelmed by the prompt attention (we call it ‘user support’) delivered by my colleagues and me. In any case, it wasted no time in exiting again through the nearest door.
If anybody can identify what kind of snake this is, I’d love to know.
My personal connection to the budget mess
A week after my rant against our wars, I find that I’m somewhat personally affected by the current budget mess. From Senator Durbin’s office:
If H.R. 1 [the federal FY2011 budget bill] were enacted, it would cut $1.1 billion from the FY11 budget request of $5.121 billion for the Office of Science, $899 million from the $2.355 billion EERE budget, and $250 million from the $300 million ARPA-E budget. This would cause many of the national labs to completely shut down for three months, if not longer.
DOE projects that the House-approved cuts to the Office of Science alone would lead to the loss of 10,000 jobs. In my home state of Illinois, Argonne National Laboratory would let go a third of its staff (more than 1,000 employees) and Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory would let go of a quarter of its staff (450 employees). Significant cuts to the Labs will be devastating to the local communities surrounding the labs in Batavia and DuPage County. Suppliers and contractors for the labs, as well as the private companies that use the facilities also would be adversely affected by the closures and layoffs.
And the directors of Argonne and Fermi have given more details in the Chicago Tribune:
The cuts proposed in the U.S. House would have an immediate and massive effect on the Chicago area’s two national laboratories, Argonne and Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory. This budget effectively reduces both labs’ current budgets by 40 percent, with a loss of $83 million at Fermilab and $110 million at Argonne. We estimate the cuts would require the furlough of 1,900 employees, and layoffs for more than 1,000 others, including more than 100 postdoctoral researchers. Such cutbacks would be unprecedented.
High-tech jobs are just the first casualty of such cuts. Rolling back funding for basic science would dim our nation’s spirit of discovery and entrepreneurship. It would curtail research into how our world works — research that spurs new theories and technologies. And the cuts would be felt across Chicago’s wider high-tech community, which depends on collaboration, new ventures and a workforce trained at some of the world’s most sophisticated facilities.
Now – it isn’t at all likely that my job is in danger. First of all, neither the Senate nor the President support the House bill. Secondly, my group receives its funding from the NIH, not the DOE. Nevertheless, it is likely that there will be some cuts; there probably will be some lost jobs; and the rest of us probably face a few furlough days. It is still very uncertain.
In the near term, the current funding bills expire next Friday, and one of the hot topics is whether there will be a government shutdown. It is not clear what would happen to Argonne in that situation.
All of this just added to my opinion that our budget situation is messed up and that our officials need to do a better job of talking to each other rather than past each other.
