What if you could dream up your whole life again?

(A reflection on one of Mark Scandrette’s questions from Chapter 1 of Practicing the Way of Jesus)

---

In the opening chapter of Practicing the Way of Jesus, Mark Scandrette discusses his ideas for a Jesus dojo. Literally, dojo is a Japanese term meaning ‘place of the way’. Scandrette uses it to describe…

1) an experiment, 2) inspired by the life and teachings of Jesus, 3) in which a group of people commit time and energy to a set of practices, 4) in conversation with real needs in [their] society and within themselves, 5) and reflect on how these experiences can shape the ongoing rhythms of life.

He goes on to describe how these experiments are a way in which we can be formed spiritually. They are concrete steps in the process of being and becoming Jesus’ disciples. Why experiments? Because Jesus himself invited others to join him and test his teachings – to see if what he had to say was of human or divine origin.

At the end of Chapter 1, there are some questions and exercises designed to open up the conversation. I’d like to reflect on one of them. These thoughts are actually rather personal. If you’re one of those people in my life who really cares what’s going on inside my head, this might be a good blog to keep reading.

---

An exercise from the end of Chapter 1:

Dream up your whole life again. Most of us, to some degree, long for something more or different in our lives that expresses our yearning for life in the kingdom of love. Sometimes the first step to getting unstuck is learning to dream again. Have a brainstorming conversation… about what you long for and the points of resistance that keep you from experiencing life in God’s kingdom more fully.

I’ve been doing this a lot recently – not necessarily dreaming up my whole life, since the dreams that I’m dreaming now are emerging from my accumulated experiences up to this point. Rather I’m dreaming about what the future might look like post-synchrotron, and reading this suggested exercise was a small moment of encouragement: keep dreaming and keep discussing and see where it might lead. Here is what I’ve come up with…

I love hospitality. I want to serve people.

I learned this in the year that I worked in the Laurelville dining hall. I could see and provide what others needed before they asked for it. And I enjoyed watching how people who felt cared for physically could move into a place of being cared for spiritually. Broadly defined, I understand hospitality as opening up space for people to be authentic, to discover who they are, to receive care and have needs met, and to feel love.

As I was “dreaming up my life again”, I wondered to myself: “What is really true? What do I really believe deeply? What is beautiful?” And my answer keeps coming from Matthew 25:

I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me… Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.

At the times when I see these words of Jesus actually lived out in real life, something deep in me says, “Yes, yes, YES! That is beautiful. That is life-giving. That is truly meeting God.” (If you’re wanting an example of this, consider this story (or video) from Hugh Hollowell from Love Wins Ministries. Or consider the work of Shane Claiborne. Or read about the work at the Urban Ministry Center. These are all people who I admire.)

As I continued to dream up my life, I tried to envision some specifics. What could the future hold? Certainly, working at a place like Laurelville is attractive. I love the hospitality work; I love how Laurelville nurtures both body and Spirit; and I love the nearness to creation. Working at a place like The Hermitage would be attractive for similar reasons. Alternatively, I think that working beside people who homeless, poor, or strangers in this country would be rewarding.

But I have concerns. Every option worries me…

• If I do nothing, it’s going to drive me crazy. The discomfort in my life is enough that I need to do something…
• But have I already waited too long to make a change in direction in my life?
• I worry that retreat centers, like Laurelville, minister to the privileged – those that already are financially well off. How would I feel about that?
• I’m not sure that I’d enjoy city life, which is where a lot of need tends to be concentrated.
• Am I making some of these ministries more glamorous than they are? Probably, although this isn’t my biggest concern?
• How does my family fit into this? Right now, everyone else is comfortable where we are.
• Do I go back to school (to seminary) first?
• How about finances? Or health insurance? God knows that I’ve benefited from the good insurance I have now.
• But is my desire to go somewhere else a misguided longing for greener pastures? Should I really be changing myself where I am right now? I’ve quoted Barbara Brown Taylor previously:

The accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it.

In the end, it all comes back to what true and beautiful. It’s all about finding a way to see and experience the Kingdom of God breaking into this world – into my life – here and now. Wherever and whenever ‘here and now’ might be.

In you mercy, Lord, hear my prayer.