Dumb luck

I had a lovely evening with some friends last night.  We shared supper at their home with some other friends, and afterwards we played a game of Scrabble.  However, when I play Scrabble, I play because someone needs to finish in last place.  Games with numbers, I can do; games with letters – not so much.

Anyway I was happily plodding along with ten to twenty point words – teach, even, timid, day (×3) – and we were getting down to the end of the game.  Well – it was my turn and someone had just played ‘bull’ at the lower right.  The other players were feeling sorry for me (because I was bringing up the rear), and since they knew that I had a blank, they suggested that I play something off of ‘bull’ in order to take advantage of the triple word score space at the bottom of the board.  All of a sudden, I saw my word…

A-N-A-L-Y-Z-E

Triple word score.

With a ‘z’ in the word.

And a seven letter bonus.

And then I realized that I could also tack a ‘d’ on the end, so make it an eight letter word:

A-N-A-L-Y-Z-E-D

One hundred twenty-two points.

Of pure, dumb luck.

I don’t think I’ll ever play Scrabble again.

Blog housekeeping

This week, I’m too frazzled to post anything interesting here.  However, at the request of my Extraordinary Brother-out-Law, I’ve added a message board, where you may leave whatever random comments you wish.  (He has already provided some suggestions for future “Five for Friday” lists, which I’m sure will please my mother.)

(By the way, EB-o-L: I moved your comment to the new message board.)

I’ve also added a link in the book club section for the book that my family is reading this year.  (“Winter World” by Bernd Heinrich was my father’s choice.)

Congregational update – more work toward reconciliation

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve talked about how things are going at my congregation.  Given some stuff happening this weekend, I thought that this might be a good time for another update.  As always, this is very much an update from my perspective.  Probably much of what I interpret as the congregation’s experience is really just me projecting my own reactions.

(For anyone who doesn’t know the story that I’m telling here, I invite you to read the blog posts filed under ‘Kipcor‘.  You’ll get the idea.)

So – the facilitators from Kipcor (Robert and Kirsten) visited with us twice last year.  The first time, they gave us some guidance and encouragement about storytelling: how to tell stories, how to listen, how to be sensitive to the multitude of perspectives.  After that, they spent a significant portion of time gathering the congregation’s stories, trying to establish a coherent picture of what conspired to result in such a disastrous meeting on Pentecost Sunday.  Finally, they visited with us again to try to give us some idea of the big picture.  I think that many people really appreciated that second meeting, either because they began to see the big picture for the first time, or because they felt like their story was finally being heard.

Since then, the congregation decided to continue working with Robert and Kirsten during the next phase of this reconciliation work.  Beginning with their visit this weekend, we will be telling our stories to each other, naming the places where we need healing, and (hopefully) doing the real hard work of forgiving and reconciling.

As part of this story telling, I will be part of a story circle tomorrow (Saturday).  This is a small group of people who will gather to share and listen in a very intense way.  We have been asked to consider two questions:

Describe from your perspective the central behaviors or events in the recent difficulties which caused hurt, frustration, or conflict for you.

What do you need to help you begin to heal, let go of negative feelings, and move forward?

For the longest time, I’ve had trouble articulating the hurt and frustration that I’ve felt.  My emotions often caught me off guard and were most raw during worship and during meetings with Robert and Kirsten.  I have expressed this in my blog once before: how, in theory, I really wanted to be a part of these meetings and to work at reconciliation.  I think this is vitally important.  Yet, when the meetings occurred, I just couldn’t bring myself to be a part of them.  Emotionally, I was sick.

Recently, I think I was able to pull my story together in a way that I could begin to understand it and share it in a way that is clear to others (or at least to Ordinary Spouse, who is the only person to hear my story so far, and who had trouble understanding before).  It goes like this…

On one hand, my very close friends were no longer in my congregation.  When they finalized their decision to go to a new church, they sent a letter explaining  their decision.  In it, they thanked four friends for walking with them.  Of those four, I was the only one present on the Sunday that Robert and Kirsten shared “the big picture”.  Another one of the four was out of town, but two others had chosen to leave permanently.  In any case, the result for me was a feeling of great loss mixed with loneliness and isolation.

On the other hand, I’ve been very committed to my congregation.  Ordinary Spouse and I discussed this commitment long before the trouble began.  We view our membership like a covenant, and in that way it is much like a marriage bond.  Because we value it so highly, we also want to encourage the whole group in working toward healing, and to help with that whenever possible.

On top of these two competing influences, there was “the big picture”.  I haven’t tried to describe it before, and I’m not going to try now, either.  Suffice to say, we had a perfect storm of sorts, with many different stories converging at once.  Most of the congregation was unaware of all of the stories, but when Kirsten and Robert shared them during their second visit, I didn’t learn anything new.

So – these three things (the loss and loneliness, the longing for healing for the congregation as a whole, and the weight of holding all of the stories) combined to cause the cauldron of emotions that I couldn’t articulate.  When I finally put all of this together the other night with Ordinary Spouse, I described feeling as if I were being torn in many directions at once.  Just getting to that description was in some ways very healing.

From there, I can consider the second question.  What do I need in order to move forward?

Two things have come to mind.  First, I just want the moving-forward process to begin.  I spent last summer and fall taking care of the personal processing that needed to happen and mending a strained relationship.  And when I look forward, I see a long climb ahead.  I’m anxious to get started.

The second thing is that I need to be respected.  I don’t need people to agree with me – just  understand that I’m trying to act with integrity.

So often, when this conflict comes up in the broader Church, I hear one group of people claim to be Bible-believing.  If we could just study the Bible (they say), we’d come to a sound decision.  The implication is that some other group (the group that I’m now a part of) isn’t Bible-believing.  I have never been addressed personally, but I’ve been guilty by association.  And it’s incredibly hurtful.  If I can’t be respected, then we can no longer be a community – not because I’m leaving, but because I’ve already been pushed out.

Anyway – that’s what I hope to be able to share tomorrow.  I hope that I’m heard, and I hope that I am able to hear the others in the circle, as well.  It will be a tough few hours, but by God’s grace they’ll also be a healing time.

Five for Friday… brand loyalty

(My mother wondered where the list was last week, so I needed to make sure that I had “five” for her today.)

There aren’t too many times I go out of my way to buy a particular brand of anything, but there are some rare occasions. Watch how I slip in more than five…

1) Coffee - Maybe my most guilty pleasure? I like Starbucks mocha.^* Or when I’m at home, I make mocha with fair trade coffee, and that probably means Equal Exchange. And since I’ve mentioned Equal Exchange, I should say that they make my very favorite chocolate.

2) Clothing - A 100% satisfaction guarantee and excellent customer service keep me shopping with L.L.Bean. (And they know when they shouldn’t mess with a good thing – i.e. instead of trying to put their own label on something, they’ll sell someone else’s high-quality product. Which is why I also love Keen footwear.)

3) Toothpaste - I’ve used Crest all my life, so don’t ask me to use something else. My wife is like that with Colgate. And the girls have their own favorites, as well. There was a time when we had five different varieties of toothpaste in our house.

4) Jelly beans - I love Jelly Belly. I have thirteen plush Jelly Belly beans and a Jelly Belly dispenser that sit beside me at work.

5) Amusement park - Walt Disney World. Interestingly, this loyalty doesn’t extend to the entire Disney brand. I just like the park – enough so that I have a Disney Visa card to save up points to buy tickets.

* Interesting story (at least to me): I know a number of people who travel the toll roads from Indiana to Pennsylvania.  Some of us who do it often (and who have brand loyalties) have memorized the rest areas so that we can get cheap gas, buy Starbucks coffee, and get a good lunch.  We even know when we need to leave in the morning to time everything correctly.

A letter to the President

I’ve decided to make a brief departure from my policy of not commenting on politics…

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Dear Mr. President:

In the Mennonite Church, political participation is a much-debated topic. In general, the question is how much should one be involved with earthly government, when one’s ultimate allegiance is to God. Because of this, I have been reegistered as an independent for quite a while.

In the election of 2000, I was persuaded by the vision of compassionate conservatism to vote for George Bush. I was sorely disappointed. Chastened at the role my vote played in bringing about eight years of military expansion (which seemed to me to be in direct opposition to the Prince of Peace), I seriously considered not voting for a president in the 2008 election. However, captured by the historic nature of your candidacy and its vision of hope, I marked your name on my ballot.

When you were chosen as the winner of the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, I was surprised. I guess it seemed somewhat premature, but hey – the past year had been rather historic. But then you used your acceptance speech to defend the idea of just war and the concept of redemptive violence.

I was unsettled. Redemptive violence is a lie. No war has ever been just.

Now, Mr. President, you have recently proposed a federal budget for the next fiscal year with a freeze on “non-security discretionary spending”. I am not opposed to this spending freeze – the government debt is out of control. It is the “non-security” qualifier that I could do without. It is as if there is now not even a pretense of peace. The war spending of the previous administration will continue unchecked.

Mr. President, hope is powerful and I am hopeful that this country can embrace a new direction in foreign policy – a direction of respect, dialogue, and development, rather than fear and violence. But my hope for your presidency is fading just as my hope for compassionate conservatism did.

I cannot grasp the challenges that you face. I know they are many. My prayers are with you.

Sincerely,
ordinary (mostly)

Saturday night disco

We just finished up another Saturday night disco in our ordinary house.  The Ordinary Daughters dress up (sometimes Ordinary Mommy, too, but I generally decline), we grab rhythm instruments, and show off our best moves.

Thanks to YouTube, we can have about any song we want.  Here are some of the favorites.  You can have your own dance!

Best of Both Worlds
Connected
Walk Like An Egyptian
Stayin’ Alive
Elevation (ok – so that was my pick)
Nuki Nuki
I Like to Move It
Under the Sea
This Too Shall Pass (we acted that one out)
I Feel Like a Woman (that was Ordinary Spouse’s pick)

Review: Starbucks oatmeal

I have gushed before about how wonderful my morning oatmeal is, and I have also confessed to loving Starbucks mocha. So I could tell that Ordinary Spouse saw the wheels turning in my head when I found out what arrived in the mail yesterday – a coupon for a free serving of Starbucks oatmeal.

Breakfast this morning?

You guessed it – oatmeal and coffee!

And I thought, “Hey! Why not write a review of Starbucks oatmeal?” Some people are qualified to review books or music. I’ll review oatmeal.^*

* And here we provide the obligatory disclaimer: As you are already aware, I did not have to purchase my oatmeal this morning. Starbucks sent me the coupon (unsolicited by me). I did buy the mocha (which was typically yummy, but which I’m not reviewing).

So, would I recommend Starbucks oatmeal? Let’s take a look…

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What you get:

One cup (roughly speaking) of “Perfect Oatmeal” (Starbucks’ name for it). The label says,

Just the way you like it. Wake up to the warmth and hearty goodness of whole grains. Add to that a satisfying sprinkle of nuts, fruit, and brown sugar, and your choice of milk.

As indicated, I also received individual packets of nuts, dried fruit, and brown sugar. And had I been so inclined, I could have added milk in the store. I was not so inclined.

The oatmeal:

The oatmeal was a standard serving of quick oats.  My barista prepared it appropriately, which is about all you can say about standard servings of quick oats. (You’re not going to get bonus points for cooking oats, but you can lose points rapidly if they weren’t cooked right.) Starbucks could make the oatmeal slightly more interesting by mixing in other grains.

The nuts:

Here, I give Starbucks high marks for providing the same mix of nuts that I would have enjoyed on oatmeal that I prepared at home. They could have provided the bare minimum – a few ground walnuts. However, the package contained walnuts, almonds, and pecans. In addition, I believe that their labeling (“a satisfying sprinkle”) was conservative. They were actually slightly generous with amount, given the volume of oatmeal. Nicely done.

The fruit:

High marks for the variety again. They could have provided raisins. Instead, the package had golden raisins, cranberries, and zante currants, and cherries. One quibble: there was no need to add sugar as a separate ingredient. I understand that sugar is standard with dried cranberries, but I don’t care for extra sugar added by itself.  Also, as with the nuts, the amount of dried fruit was more than needed to make me happy.  (But it wasn’t excessive, either.)

The sugar:

Not much to say about the brown sugar. It was an appropriate amount. If I could have my way, I would have also had a spice packet – at least a little cinnamon, and maybe some clove.

Intangibles:

If you like goofy baristas singing “Roxanne” off-key while you are still somewhat drowsy, then you’re in good shape. Me? I am easily amused by goofy baristas.

The take-home message:

Yes – I could have made a slightly better bowl of oatmeal a whole lot more cheaply at home, but I also buy things in bulk and eat it every day. In the end, this was a really good breakfast and not a bad price – $2.45, according to my receipt (had I actually purchased it). And when you think about the heart-attack-inducing breakfast sandwiches that you could buy elsewhere, this option is downright excellent. If you find yourself in need of a quick breakfast option on the road, I highly recommend it.

Scripture: What do we see? What do we miss?

On another blog, I’ve been continuing some conversations inspired by Laurelville’s Music and Worship Leaders’ Retreat last weekend. I was reminded of something else that Brian McLaren said that really resonated with me.

On that site, we were discussing various concerns related to the future of the Church, and I mentioned the challenges facing my congregation:

Some of us are concerned that we not miss scripture’s moral imperatives. Others of us are concerned that we not lose sight of the clear biblical emphasis on social justice. Still others of us are concerned that members of either of the first two groups could leave the congregation, and in the process minimize the importance of Jesus’ prayer for the unity of his followers.

Given all of that, you may perhaps understand why I could identify a cautionary word spoken directly to me within Brian McLaren’s statement that

What we focus on [in scripture] determines what we miss.

I think that this is vitally important to the broader denomination right now. How we carry on these conversations will be quite important in influencing how the world perceives the Church.

Jack

It’s been a while since I’ve given an update about Jack, and even this update will be more about me, than it will be about Jack.  It’s my blog – I get to vent.

Let me say that Jack is doing wonderfully.  He didn’t try to climb our Christmas tree at all, he doesn’t try to bite my ankles, he uses his litter box, and he hasn’t regurgitated any food recently.  My standards are low.

Now some of you will remember that when Jack came to live with us, I was the family member who was most reluctant to have Jack join our family.  Also (and I quote here)…

I have…  predicted that in an ironic twist, the cat will like me best.

Well – let me just say, “I told you so.”

Guess – where does Jack sleep every night?

Yes, on my bed, but more specifically.

No, not on my pillow, but you’re close.

Give up?

On my arm.  Our cat sleeps on my arm.

He waits until Ordinary Spouse and I have settled into bed, and then he comes traipsing in makes himself comfortable on my arm.

And guess – who lets him?

Hrrmph.

Zero-point energy

Today: a physics lesson.

In quantum mechanics, the zero-point energy is the energy of the ground state of a system.  Interestingly, this energy is not zero.  For example, in the case of a simple molecule with two atoms, these atoms never cease vibrating back and forth – i.e. they always have energy.

Why do I bring this up on a Sunday morning?

Because children are like this.

Even in the middle of the night, when they are sleeping in your bed because they had a bad dream, they still squirm.  They never stop squirming.

Not that I’ve had any experience with that in the last few hours…

I wonder – at what age do we learn to hold still?